Managing your inner saboteur

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This is a guest post from executive coach Laurence Knott, who facilitates the Leadership Skills series for our Future Leaders programmes – this is one of Laurence’s most popular sessions, and candidates come away with deep insights every time. Thanks, Laurence!

Managing Your Inner Saboteur: Rewiring the Mind

There’s a moment in leadership, sometimes in the quiet after a long day, sometimes in the middle of a big decision, where we hear a voice in our heads. It’s the voice that whispers, “Are you sure you’re good enough for this?” or “You should have done better.” It’s subtle and persistent, and for many of us, it’s been there for as long as we can remember.

In the GM Future Leaders session I facilitated last Friday for Future of Greater Manchester, we explored this inner voice, the saboteur that holds us back, keeps us playing small, or drives us to exhaustion. As the group reflected, the same fears and doubts surfaced again and again: the fear of not being enough, of being found out, of falling short despite years of hard work. And yet, most of us believe we’re the only ones hearing it.

It was a powerful reminder: we all have saboteurs, but they thrive in silence and isolation.

Some saboteurs show up as perfectionism, convincing us that anything less than flawless is failure. Others come as overcommitment, making us feel guilty for saying no. Some take the form of hyper-vigilance, scanning constantly for what could go wrong. These voices aren’t random, they are part of our survival strategy, shaped by expectations placed on us, past experiences, or the culture we work in.

But here’s the thing: that voice is not the whole story.

We talked about how the mind work and how thoughts, once repeated, become deep pathways, like footprints in freshly fallen snow. The more we walk the same path, the more defined it becomes, until it feels like the only route available. But fresh snow falls every day, offering a chance to create new pathways, new ways of thinking, new ways of leading.

I shared the Native American story of the two wolves: one of fear and self-doubt, the other of wisdom, possibility, and resilience. The one that grows is the one we feed. And for many of us, the saboteur wolf has been well-fed over the years. It’s loud, familiar, and feels like the truth.

Yet, as we discovered in the session, it’s possible to turn the volume down. Not by fighting the voice but by recognising it for what it is; a thought, not a fact; a habit, not a reality.

Leadership isn’t about eliminating self-doubt, it’s about learning to lead alongside it. The most powerful leaders aren’t the ones without inner critics; they’re the ones who hear the voice, acknowledge it, and choose not to let it run the show.

I left the session reflecting on how often we hold ourselves to impossible standards, forgetting that growth doesn’t come from perfection, it comes from showing up, doing the work, and being willing to step forward, even when the voice tells us we’re not ready.